A year ago today, I woke up at 8am with a pounding headache. I was barely functioning after only two hours of sleep. I’d had a huge night where all the usual antics went down -- a lot of alcohol and drugs, fighting with my ex, some dick tried to steal my vape, hours wasted at a nightclub, bouncers caught us doing lines in the bathroom, found a friend dangerously wasted outside a bar at 3am, swapped shoes with someone, photos in the bath, after party in a hotel room –

The whole night was a whirlwind of bad decisions.  

I was so sick of myself and the repetitive pattern that unfolded every single weekend, the way I felt for days after, and the lack of drive I had for life. I couldn’t keep living like this. I decided enough was enough.

Life Beyond Alcohol: A Journey to Better Health and Success
 

Now in my mid-30’s and wanting to get married and have children, I had to really think long and hard about how I could fulfil this purpose. I knew that my current behaviour was not going to lead down any path except a toxic one and that I needed to implement some big life changes, and soon. 

Since then I have spent a lot of hours in therapy and alone journaling and reflecting on my choices and driving reasons behind these choices. I was really shy as a 15 year old and drinking allowed me to get out of my shell and not worry so much about interacting with others, but it spiraled out of control and went on much longer than I ever planned.

Any change takes a certain amount of resilience, sitting in the uncomfortable feelings and remaining strong no matter how bad the urge is.  I did it, with the support of close friends and family. 

Real-Life Transformation of Sobriety: Health, Homeownership, and More

Since I stopped drinking, my life has transformed in ways I could never have dreamt of.

Volunteer Work:  Last year, I started volunteer work - something I have always been passionate about but never reliable enough to commit to. I’m now the volunteer coordinator for The NZ Cat Foundation, I work at the sanctuary every Sunday inducting new volunteers, and on top of that, I help with social media.

Weight Loss: Without consciously trying, I’ve lost 9kg. This change came naturally as I embraced a healthier lifestyle without alcohol’s hold on me. I also got abs!

Homeownership: I’ve purchased another house, something unattainable if I continued living my life the way I had been.

Stronger Friendships: I’ve become a better friend.  I can consistently be there for my friends and have deepened friendships in ways I couldn’t before. I am reliable, present and in tune with their emotions as well as my own.

Personal Wins: Finally after ten years, I figured out my cat’s behavioural issue and fixed it - I did not have the patience or awareness while drinking. This is a huge one for me.

Family: My mum is proud of the person I’ve become, and that fills me with joy every day. She is also a non drinker.

Financial Gains:  I no longer lose belongings on nights out, and I’ve stopped wasting money on unnecessary expenses ie Ubers, junk food, dresses for events I will wear once.

Mental Health:  My mental state is great, I’m so much more confident in myself, generally happy, and I know who I am and what I want.

Emotional Growth:  My emotional awareness has developed more in the last year than it has in my whole previous 15 years drinking combined.  

Emotionally, sobriety revealed layers I had long buried beneath the numbing effects of alcohol. I began to feel joy, sadness, frustration, peace, all the range of emotions but with more intensity. Without the buffer of drinking, I had no choice but to confront my emotions head-on, to sit with them and learn from them. This process, painful at times, taught me true vulnerability. I became more compassionate toward myself, learning to embrace my flaws and mistakes without seeking to escape through alcohol. 

Spiritually, sobriety was like a clearing of the fog. I began to see my life and discover my purpose with new clarity. The distractions of drinking had kept me from connecting with my deeper self. As I let go of alcohol, I made space for reflection and mindfulness. Regular meditation and journaling helped me tune into the inner voice I had ignored for so long. I started to feel more connected to the world around me. 

My Renewed Sense of Agency

This transformation has profoundly changed the way I approach life. I now seek experiences that nourish my soul rather than deplete it. My choices are guided by a desire to grow, to stay aligned with my true values. Instead of hiding from challenges, I face them with openness, trusting that each experience has something to teach me. Sobriety has given me a renewed sense of agency over my life.

Contentment with the Ordinary: One of the biggest shifts has been learning to be content with everyday life. I no longer crave constant stimulation or seek extreme situations. Instead, I find peace and gratitude in the simple moments – moments that used to pass me by unnoticed.

I look back over the past year.  It hasn’t all been plain sailing. There were times when I wanted to throw in the towel, forget all my problems and indulge in a big wild night. However, that would have been taking the easy route, and it would end in me being back at square one.

I often had nightmares of drinking and taking drugs, then feeling the immense disappointment - I was so thankful to wake up and discover it was not reality!

I had a toolkit that helped me through tough moments, symbolised by a big drawing on my wall. The centre circle listed "things I don’t want to do," like drinking. The next circle outlined "things that lead to them," such as work stress, rejection, and feeling left out. The outermost circle included "things that support me," like taking a 30-second cold shower to shake off negative energy, calling a friend, or eating a home-cooked meal.

Also finding a way to give back to the community in the form of volunteer work is a great way to occupy yourself (but choosing something meaningful to you so that the joy you get from that is greater than the joy you get from drinking!). Having a friend to call when you’re thinking of making bad decisions helps too.

If you’re ready to take a journey of challenging but incredible transformation here, this is your sign. Life beyond alcohol is more peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling than I ever imagined. 

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If my life can improve this much, so can yours.  

Meet Nat O'Connor

Nat and a friend are currently planning a women’s empowerment, health-conscious group based in Auckland, New Zealand. If you're interested in knowing more, please connect with her through the links below:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsnatdotcom/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nataleefaeala

NZ Cat Foundation: https://www.thenzcatfoundation.org.nz/
https://www.instagram.com/the_nz_cat_foundation/