A beautiful story from Kristina Risinger about
renewing hope after great loss.
"Grief has the power to seize breath and create feelings of suffocation. However, once breath is restored, grief has the propensity for fostering amazing growth and purpose."
Breathing is the most effortless action we will ever take, yet in some moments we find ourselves gasping for breath. This breath is a necessity of life. In times irrelative to physical ailment we find ourselves in a moment that stands still lacking the required action to keep living. In these moments we know that we are defeated.
That breath was taken from me in a moment of magnifying awareness.
As I walked up the stairs my legs were so heavy; there was barely any strength to continue. The night had been very long as I held my youngest child in my arms... she was so very cold. That distinct measure I remember so vividly, so shockingly; as it resonated with my core. Everything had been set in place, yet moments felt so surreal. I was suspended in a gaping black hole of stillness as everything passed me by.
Everything awaited my baby girl in its pristine and equipped position poised for her return, but it would continue to lay in wait for all time... she would not come home.
My heart was shattered, my mind stunned.
Our youngest daughter, Isabella, had come into this world carrying a heavy weight.
She was diagnosed in utero at 12 weeks with a condition that many medical experts consider incompatible with life. This condition is known as Trisomy 18 or Edwards syndrome.
As with most that face this devastating news, we were offered alternative solutions. Pleas were offered for consideration of her survival, our other children, and even our own quality of life. For my husband and I there was no decision to be made. We believed that God had sent her for a reason and that we were going to fight for her until fighting was no longer an option.
While Isabella endured several surgeries, a five and a half month NICU stay during her life, and passed away just prior to her first birthday; I would consider her anything but incompatible with life. She shocked medical professionals as she proved that she was indeed a fighter. Moreover, we were able to enjoy her at home during the second half of her life.
We believed that God had sent her for a reason and that we were going to fight for her until fighting was no longer an option.
Our daughter was only given such a short time here on earth, however; she left me with more love than I could have imagined existed. Losing her, has felt like a piece of me was stolen. It will never return, yet her purpose and legacy are ultimately so powerful.
Almost three years later, I have been placed in a position to help others through these breathtakingly painful moments. At some point in all our lives the dreaded experience of loss will leave its nasty imprint on our minds, likewise; affecting our bodies and souls. Grief is heartbreak, confusion, brokenness, anger, guilt, loneliness, and deep sorrow.
Initially, and without warning, grief has the power to seize breath and create feelings of suffocation. However, once breath is restored, grief has the propensity for fostering amazing growth and purpose.
It is the sitting in grief and moving through grief that shapes character. As our minds, bodies, and souls process the act of what has happened, our thoughts and feelings related to that act, and our new perspective on life that naturally follows; we begin to resonate with our new normal to our core. We dig out of the valley to become not a fraction of what we once were, but a magnification of who we are to become.
A journey through grief heeds no dismissal of choice. The challenge is embarked upon and will inevitably direct the path from that moment forward.
Surviving a loved one is not for the faint of heart. Lives come to a screeching halt as they were known before, and the waters of this world must be navigated from a new perspective. When an act of such magnitude happens upon us, a choice must be made to stand still or to move forward.
When we allow God to breathe life into us and embrace the gift of love; it is in these moments we are capable of clinging to hope. As I become more aware of my service to others, I am lifted up in my own healing.
Yes, there are many moments that bring me to my knees. In these moments I tell God that I simply miss her, and I say, “Breathe-Breath of God- Please Breathe!”
Meet Kristina Risinger ...
My name is Kristina Risinger. I am a daughter of God, wife, mother, coach, author, speaker, and photographer. I am a woman who desires to be guided by the Lord to fulfill my purpose in life.
After losing my daughter, I struggled with figuring out how to put the pieces back together. I continue to renew my hope and have discovered my purpose; as I now desire to support others through their grief journey after great loss.
I am called to help people through the grieving process by placing their faith in God, and regaining identity and purpose for their lives.
- Support To Renew Your Hope After Losing Your Loved One... 1:1 and group coaching to help people begin to renew hope and discover purpose after great loss while honoring their loved one.
- Read Kristina's Book... "Life After Losing A Loved One: How To Turn Grief Into Hope Strength And Purpose" can be found here: https://justbreathe-mama.com/life-after-losing-a-loved-one/
- Visit Kristina's website: https://kristinarisinger.com/
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