Healing My Anxious Heart by Lydia Ndagaano | The Healing Power of Understanding & Forgiveness | Inspiring Story #91

I was now twenty-two years old.  Not ever giving up hope for answers, I booked an appointment with a cardiologist.    As I walked into the examination room, a kindly spoken Doctor named Barbara greeted me warmly.   I told her of my symptoms.  After checking my ECG was normal, Doctor Barbara sat in front of me.  She looked at me and said, “Lydia don’t tell me you’ve had anxiety all this while?”   I looked right back, confused, and said, “Anxiety? What’s that doctor?”  

Doctor Barbara explained the symptoms of Anxiety Disorder.  She told me how the Anxiety Disorder could be triggered and what was happening in my mind and body.  Most importantly, Doctor Barbara assured me I wasn’t going to die from Anxiety Disorder.

From that day, I started to learn more about the effects of long-term stress and anxiety.  I delved into my past story, and in doing so I recognized a difficult childhood had taken a toll on me – as it does for many people in the world today. 

As a baby, my mother decided to give me up for adoption.  If it wasn’t for my Grandmother saying, “over my dead body” and practically raising me herself, my mother would have given me up.

My father tried to be there for me.  But my parents ended up separating.  Dad paid my dues, he bought me whatever he could afford, but he was always struggling himself and never fully present.

I reflected on the absence of my parents and the constant yearning for their presence.  With self-reflection and inner questioning, I realized I held resentment in my heart.  It was important for me to come to a place of forgiveness if I was ever going to deal with this anxiety. 

Finding acceptance & forgiveness

Finding this place of acceptance and forgiveness changed everything for me.  Yes, I still have my moments, but now because I have a greater understanding of Anxiety, and know that not all my worries are valid, I celebrate everything in my life.  

I’ve released resentments towards my parents.  I’ve set goals and am moving ahead in life toward a future filled with possibility.  Though not easy to share my story, I want to tell others about my experience to bring awareness. 

If there is anyone else out there who was been through an experience similar to mine or can relate, don’t be sad, stand up and seek help.  Find a doctor, a counselor, a trusted friend, someone you can confide in. Truthfully, anxiety doesn’t kill but you don’t have to continue living with it.   

You deserve better.  Choose a full life, forgive the past and face the future with peace of mind.