Found in a trash-can in the backstreets of South Korea to becoming an international empowerment coach and motivational speaker; Sasha takes you on a powerful journey of reframing her story.
I am not the words spoken "to" me. I am the words "I" speak to me.
20 December 1957, Seoul Korea; the only sound breaking the crystalline -5° air was that of an infant in crisis; coming from a trash can behind a restaurant. My first recorded utterance.
I 'married' at a young age. My first husband was a deacon of the church. He was respected on his job and liked by all who knew him. Perfect as he sounds; there was only one small problem...
I called him father.
The first woman who impressed my core beliefs told me I was evil and possessed by demons. She would use both vocal and corporal punishments to attempt to 'cleanse me of Satan’s power'. While the opinion of others should not define me; there was only one small problem…
I called her mother.
Future relationships were all tainted with the filter:
self-loathing shame - first fetter of feeling
accompanied by fear - second fetter of feeling
anger - third fetter of feeling
Reframing would become my first power tool.
The Power of Reframing
On the day I was found, the temperature was below freezing. I would not have survived had I not been in the dumpster.
The Korean culture in the 1950s endorsed drowning any half-caste or first girl baby. Many young girls who had survived from the support of soldiers were left with children and no funds found a solution by drowning girl babies.
The restaurant that I was found behind was popular. This had aided my discovery.
These facts offered the possibility of a new story – a young, loving, smart, courageous biological mother who had sacrificed. She had not thrown me away – she had given me an opportunity – the ultimate sacrifice of a loving mother – surrendering her child so they might survive.
These facts offered the possibility of a new story –
My therapist then guided me through creating a reframed mind movie. When I felt the fearful ache of abandonment, I would see a young beautiful tiny woman child. She was cold, hungry, and tired. She could barely carry me. I felt her love. As she placed me in the trash can, tears ran down her cheeks. She said, “I cannot take care of you. I want you to survive. I will love you always. Someone will come soon. You are going to have enough to eat. You will live. I have always loved you. I will always love you.”
The next power tool came from another of my favorite therapists. She taught me a process to forgive. I learned that child abuse is often generational.
I visualized my father as a little boy being molested by an older sibling. I saw his confusion. I saw his resignation to acts he could not prevent. I felt his shame. I felt his guilt. I felt his unworthiness.
When I touched my adopted mother, a scary hateful face appeared. I heard snarling and laughter. This was her mother. I heard a horrible voice saying, “I wish you had never been born. You are ugly and stupid. You are not my child.” My adopted mother began sobbing. Begging her mother not to hit her. Between tears, saying, “I love you mother, I love you mother.” A switch appeared. Followed by rising red welts on my adopted mother’s back. I heard her say, “Please stop, I love you Mother, I love you. Please stop”
I looked again at the adult images of my adopted parents. They were transparent. I could see the damaged inner children inside of their bodies. I touched the cheek of my father and said, “I understand exactly how you felt. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I forgive you.” I touched the cheek of my adopted mother and said, “I understand exactly how you felt. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I forgive you.”
Forgiveness is not acceptance or endorsement of what was. Forgiveness is the release of resentment, the need for vengeance, and victim identity.
"Forgiveness is not acceptance or endorsement of what was. Forgiveness is the release of resentment, the need for vengeance, and victim identity."
For me, forgiveness germinated in the soil of understanding. When I gave my story to my adopted parents; I could see them as frail people. Compassion welled. I knew they had done the best they could do with the consciousness they had. I was free from the identity of a powerless victim. Cataracts had been removed. I could see a new way of being. I could powerfully choose to be different … because I could see.
Today fully present in the now, the events of the past are not my identity. I am free of the fetters of fear, shame, and anger. Today life is a magical playground of choice.
I am grateful for every tear shed. For the: moments of heartache, times of despair, deep all-consuming shame, abuse and unkindness, immobilizing fear, self-doubt, angry attacks, self-created destruction, times when the financial future looked bleak, scars & hospital stays, self-imposed loneliness.
Most of all I am grateful for the love and healing that has and is generated from each of my “educational labs.” I get to be a healer. I get to be a powerful lightworker. I get to be honored amongst the honorable. I get to be human. I get to be a version of me that I love.
I feel the possibility of you discovering the champion bred from the fires of childhood.
I AM the victor of my story
I AM the champion of my story
This found in a trash can child says “I am proud happy and honored to be part of love’s conspiracy to heal.”
I am the possibility of everything
You are the possibility of everything
We are the possibility of everything
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“An Empowerment Coach/Motivational Speaker with over 30 years of experience leading workshops and training programs for cross-cultural groups.
Demonstrated ability developing and delivering educational sessions on inner child and present moment consciousness with the integration of a custom—designed grounding and visualization experience.
Certified Coach through Wainwright Fowler.”
• Email - [email protected]
• Facebook - @coachingbysasha
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Thank you for sharing your extremely powerful story. You’ve overcome so much in your life.
I’ve been honored to have been given a masters in life – Phylecia thank you for taking the time to uplift
I interviewed an Asian girl years ago with almost the identical story. I never forgot her and grieved for what she had endured. Now, I read this story and my heart is overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing.
Carol, thank you for taking the time to care in digital dots. I am honored to have shared a moment of compassion and understanding with you
Such a tragic yet inspiring story. A true heroic woman.
Ahhh Maria – not tragic – honored – thank you for your generous encouragement
This was truly a unique and thoughtful read. Life, though full of surprises, is all about perspective.
Spot on Tara – thank you for giving a gift of encouragement
This is an inspiring post I love her thought on Today life is a magical playground of choice, that is so true!
Jen, somedays merry-go-round others splash pad LOL thank you for taking the time to share a smile
I come from a culture when people still consider therapy shameful. The damage suffered in childhood does not reverse without help. Those who accepted this fact managed to turn their lives around. I know such a person, and she is a successful writer today. But she accepted that she had trauma and needed professional help. Yet another inspirational story!
Mihaela, your loving care shouts loudly – thank you for sharing your love
Your courage is incredible and your heart is pure, you are truly an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.
Stephanie sometimes courage is not caring if you die – sometimes courage is walking into the face of fear – courage is always the platform of champions – because this is what you saw this is the reflection of you that I am honored to view