After a decade of professional soccer, Tiffany seemed to have it all. Inside, she was unraveling. This is her honest journey of finding faith, leaning on family and community, and rediscovering joy beyond the game. If you’ve felt lost behind a smile, this story is for you.
Life Lessons & Key Themes From This Story
- Success without inner peace can feel empty. Your worth is not measured by trophies or applause.
- Naming what hurts is the first step to healing. Silence and self-distraction keep the wound open.
- Choose connection over isolation. Lean into family, trusted friends, and community when the road feels heavy.
- Re-centre on what matters with small daily practices: prayer, reflection, movement to steady your heart.
- Finding faith is often a gentle return, built through tiny acts of trust and courage, until joy takes root again.
📍 From the USA: One voice in our growing collection of inspiring true stories shared from around the world.**
I found myself pacing back and forth, not knowing if I would ever feel like myself again. For so long I’d kept quiet, not wanting to share what was going on with me. Honestly, I wouldn’t know how to start explaining the heaviness in my heart. My mind was so jumbled.
I had just come back from Iceland, where I’d been playing professional soccer - another country, another contract, another goal scored. When I returned to the USA, there were smiles. Friends and family hugged me, told me they were proud.
Maybe to them, I looked like a champion, like someone living the dream. But behind my smile, it felt like I was playing a losing game of life, and I didn’t know the score.
That restlessness became the rhythm of my life, like running drills without a goal in sight. Eventually, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. That explained a lot. The long naps, the racing thoughts. Some days I felt angry. Other days, I sank into a silence and sadness I couldn’t explain.
I asked myself: How did I even get here?
When Success Isn’t Enough
I had played professional soccer for ten years, and still, I didn’t feel fulfilled. I had achieved what many would consider success in life. I had hopes and dreams, but something was missing.
Mostly, I felt lost. And alone.I’d gone long stretches without seeing my family and friends.I’d also found out my ex-boyfriend was married. People made fun of me behind my back because of it.It felt like one thing after another. I was exhausted.
So, did that mean soccer wasn’t for me?
No, not really. I knew I loved the game. But still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something inside me was off.
That’s the thing about depression. You can laugh and smile, but in the quiet moments, you're just trying not to think.
You can laugh and smile, but in the quiet moments, you're just trying not to think.
So I turned to distractions, anything to stop thinking about what I was going through and what had gone wrong in the past.
I wasn’t talking about any of it either. For a long, long time, I kept everything inside.
But staying silent doesn’t help or protect you. When enough messed-up things happen, you start turning the pain inward. It steals your joy and hands power to the people who hurt you.
That’s what I did.
You replay every scenario in your head. You dwell. You isolate. You distract yourself.That’s one of the most dangerous places to be, especially when it comes to mental health.
Turning Back to What Matters: Family, Friends, Faith
One morning, I woke up and didn’t want to leave the bed. I sat and thought for a moment, praying silently. And I had a realization: I needed to focus on the things that really mattered in my life -- my family, my friends, my faith.
God had always been with me. My parents were there for me. I was staying with them, and they’d talked me through some of my most difficult times. My family and church sisters also showed up when I needed them. Like a supportive team, they held me when I couldn’t hold myself.
Through it all -- the highs, the lows, the tears, the healing, I learned a valuable lesson. It’s important to chase your dreams, but even more important to put God first. He’ll guide you in the most unexpected ways.
Finding Faith, Finding Joy
Today, I’m confident. Still learning. Still growing.
It took a team to help me make it through, and I’m so grateful to everyone who stood by me. They helped me find my love for soccer again, and not just that, I’ve fallen in love with life again.
Yes, there are days when I fall short, but many more when I feel strong. I’ve found ways to express my feelings and be more myself again.
Sometimes it’s prayer.Sometimes it’s writing down what I’ve been through.And sometimes, it’s moving with joy, on the field, or in my living room with the music turned up.
These days, when I smile, it’s not just for show.
It’s the kind of smile that runs deep, rooted in faith, lifted by love, and held up by the people who never stopped believing in me.
Meet Tiffany McCarty
I’m a crisis counselor with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, drawn to this work by my own experiences and the support of caring mental health professionals. I studied at St. John’s College High School in Washington, DC, and Florida State University.
Before counseling, I spent ten years playing professional soccer in the U.S. and abroad. I’m training to return to the game here in the U.S., and I’m committed to giving back through compassionate mental health support.
Connect with me on Instagram here: @tiffy_queenmac
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